One Fryday in some hot-a-head office. Two people. The first one is too much fun and is sweetly called Dilifun. The second one is cuddly & loveable like a teddy and hence Furpreet.
(Henceforth, considering the readers convenience, we call the two characters as Fun & Fur. More characters can be expected.)
They enter a conversation.
Dilifun to Furpreet: What's your plan for the weekend?
Fur: Planning to phish!
Fun: Wow! It's long since I too did some fishing. But this week it's farming in my plans.
Fur: Oye mallu, Pharming is no fun game.
Fun: Macha, tum Punjab ke koun se samandar mein fish kiye?
(Fur takes offence counting on regionalism and retorts)
Fur: Oye teri ! Tum Kerala ke koun se field mein pharming kiye ho?
Fun: Bloody farmers talking about fishing.
Fur: Bloody fishermen talking about Pharming !
At the moment Fioosh, an artificially intelligent boy chips in. Hoping to cool down the duo, he asks, Will you teach me the techniques to fish & farm?
Fur: Kyon bein, tum kya karne waale ho?
Fioosh remembers the UK English & like a true gentleman speaks: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
An amused fur caresses his beard, shakes his head, plays with his lips and looks at Fioosh with a new eye of respect. Still, since God had added pun in pints and quarters to his blood, he decides to tease Fioosh.
Tum kya Phish karoge Mr. Veggie !
The word Veggie had been an insult to Fioosh ever since he stepped into the Colosseum called Goa.
Unable to bear the insults, Fioosh and Dilifun plan to go together to fish and show Fur how better they fare.
And a hurt Fur says: Kar lay jo karna aye!
(They leave)
Scene II
Fun & Fioosh look at the muddled waters in the lake.
Being too close to softwears... err softwares, both of them start talking in a common parlance.
Fioosh to Fun: This lake is too pixelated !
Fun agrees and quips: Yeah, foggy it is, but forget it. Don't change the bgcolor further. Take the net-work that we purchased from the fisher folk & carefully cast it.
(Remember, Fioosh is a novice and makes a mess out of the intricate net-work.)
Fun: We have to throw the cast net as soon. How do we open this now?
Fioosh: I don't have the password.
Dilifun becomes Dili (loses the fun) and gets furious: At least this doesn’t require a password, but certain amount of hand skills to unknot.
Fioosh: My parents did not teach me. (& runs, much to the amusement of Dilifun)
(In a few moments he arranges a bamboo rod and hook mechanism in place! Being a little ahead in terms of a few dots, they term is as the internet fishplorer.)
Suddenly remembering something, Fun turns around with a question: Did you bring the bait?
Fioosh: Yeah, I took a few worms from the network.
Fun added: & I have a few bugs from the software ! (Happily they get set to fish)
(Soon a few fish jumps up.)
An excited Fioosh: Wow ! One pop-up...two ...three and more.
Fun: More pop-up's are annoying. Try grabbing a few eyeballs.
I’m trying my best Dilifun. There are enough page views from various parts of the lake, but no one is hooked. Unique visitors all.
How do you know about the page views?
Fioosh: The bait goes missing every time.
Fun: PHP! XML ! (swear words) Use smaller packets man & don’t change the bgcolor of the lake.
Fioosh: Am thinking of changing the bait to something tastier.
Fun: Like an Apple?
Fioosh: Exactly. They will love this bit of the byte.
(Again they wait for a while)
Fun: Got any Output?
Fioosh: Input is still not of high quality.
Fun: Still with the internet fishplorer?
Fioosh: Yeah
Fun: No wonder it’s taking so much time to open the mouth. Try social net-working.
As discussions progress, they find a #000000 & #FFFFFF beard nearing. He comes closer and then they realize the that it is Mr. Furpreet.
A surprised Fur: Fishing & not Pharming? Kithey pakdey?
(Fun and Fioosh look up. Aware that they are still at the Homepage, they turn back to the pond and sit in quiet concentration.)
A curious Fur requests: Please dikha dena yaar.
Fun doesn't want to give up so easily: What about your fishing plans?
Fur: Done & archived. Isliye tho ghoom raha tha. Tumhara?
(Fun thinks - "We haven't logged in and he already cooked the fish and kept it in the freezer !...Bloody talented farmer...") & says, we have kept it in the bin.
Fur taunts: Where? In the recycle bin? !
Fun decides to tease Fur: No. Go to the path //Dilifun/Work/Funafterwork/Fish/Tuna - and you will find our fish. Sometimes tasty curries too!
(Before Furpreet could respond Fioosh interrupts with another taunt) Are thumb nails of the fishes enough?
Before anyone could answer, there was a tug at the rod.
Fioosh to Fun: Someone hooked.
Fun: Pull it.
Fioosh and Fun pull it with all might. The string is pulled backwards with the same force. For a PG2 project manager, it looked exactly like scrolling the mouse up and down.
(The rod is now bending, almost nearing the buckling point.)
Fioosh shouts: Help us Furrr. Seems like there is a firewall.
& Furpreet asks, Tutorial chahiyey?
Morning meeting nahi hein bhai.Proxy de de !
An embarrassed Fur decides to help: Stay online. I’ll get you a new template.
(But before the tutorial begins, the string snaps. Syntax Error!)
Dilifun, we need a better search string now.
(Fun searches all around the place and gets back with an alarmed look)
Dude, strings missing! (& prays) Hey RAM, help us speed up the process.
(Fur provides a wireless solution. Fioosh pulls harder, the fish is hooked & pulled out)
"Yahoo ! Finally we have a hard copy.” his happiness knew no bounds.
But to realize that the happiness is short-lived. The reason was simple. The fish looked like the Blackberry's version of an e-DM. No flesh. All bones.
Virus attack in fish pond, is it?, all three asked themselves.
(Before anyone could react, an exasperated Fun spammed the lake with all the remaining bugs and worms.)
"Baap re. It's run-time !" Fur cries and begins to run pulling the other two along.
"I/O" - A cry from Dilifun is all what is heard (Don't read it as Input/Output, but instead as the famous South Indian cry usually written as “Aiyo!”)
"Runtime error" - Fioosh says to himself, closes the network and puts it in his folder to refresh!
Final Word:
(Fioosh visits a museum) & a comment.
I can see a Trojan horse in this aquarium.
Fun: No Da, it is a seahorse.
Fioosh: Okay !
